There's so much I want to do now, despite study should be on the top of my priority list.

I want to cook. Tteokbokki, pajeon, dak galbi, apple crumble/cobbler, banana walnut cake.

I want to learn new piano pieces. The name of life (Spirited Away OST), Yiruma's pieces.

I want to run. I want to dance. I want to drink. I want to shop. I want to go to the beach. I want to spend time with my mum. Yada yada yada...

Anything except dealing with this whole contract mess in front of me now. But what to do? I made a vow in front of the Dearly Departed-s I'll work hard to make it through. Nowhere near hard though. How?

Sometimes, I think my life is jinxed because I made too many empty promises.

Random: Regretted not giving her all in piano last time. Could only sigh in envy listening to all the beautiful pieces she could have played if only she was more serious.


I want nothing more than to be cooking and baking and playing my piano right now...

Tumbling down, KABOOM!

Took a fall on the pavement today while jogging. Was relieved and counted myself lucky for not sustaining any injury.

Took a tumbling fall in the library when my leg got caught up with one of the many stray laptop cables lying on the floor. Scraped myself on the knee but i think my pride hurt more. Half of the study room people are staring at me; whispering and grinning among themselves.

The wound kinda sting a bit now. Which made me realise, how fragile I actually am. A slight little fall like that injures me. And a slight little injury like that hurts.

Big-sized people like me should never fall. The risk of getting injured is too high. And it hurts. And i'm talking about both literally and metaphorically.

Actually, she knows the answer to the most frequently asked question of all time all along.

It's because she can't love or care for anyone else. Including herself.

There. Mystery solved. Now, you people can stop asking her the same question over and over again. Because it hurts to know the answer to this.

Can't stop posting because I think I'll explode if I do.

Hates how all her thoughts are centered around herself right now.

Convince me why this life is worth living. Don't bother asking me to change this or that. If I could it would have happened long time ago.

And you know what's the most pitiful thing?

Suicide is not an option because it doesn't solve anything at all.

It's amazing how the world can be so lovely one moment but absolutely horrible the next..

*feels extremely sorry to her loved ones when typing this post*

Can I just give up trying?

A new idol-drama

If my life is like an idol-drama, then my character will be similar to one of those female leads.

You know, those who are not smart, pretty or rich but have the priceless attributes of being hard-working, never give-up attitude, cheerful, loyal, and most importantly, a kind heart.

Those who will manage to trive off and won everyone's heart in the end with their pureness.

Those who will meet their rich and handsome Prince Charming, usually more than one, before marrying the right one and live a happily ever after life.



Not.

Who am I kidding?

I'm probably more similar to the hermit in the mountain than anything else. Ignorant, slacker, rude and just plain don't-care. Whom everyone else would rather not have anything to associate with her if they could ever help it.Top that up with extreme lousy luck. There. Sounds like an interesting figure for an unconventional idol-drama right? Would you watch?

FML. Yes, can i use the F word?

FML FML.....

April Fool. I wasn't fooled. Hmm.. I love the feeling of after running/working out. Problem is I will be too wide awake to sleep later. Oh wells, I can always work on my piling high workload till I feel sleepy. Is excited that Snuffie is back in town. Can't wait to meet her up. =)