End Edit.
It's been 3 days. But the horrible scenes still keep replaying themselves on my head over and over again like those prank stories which are never ending that I used to tell people. What happened, how it happened, and what could've been done/said instead to prevent it from happening.
Call me a drama queen, a pitiable soul, who can't get over a teeny thing like haircut. But I even see it in my dreams, how my hair is perfect, just the way I've initially wanted it to be. Only to wake up and realise that reality is the real nightmare.
The funny thing is as much as I'm angry with the guy who cut my hair, I'm 10 times more furious at myself for letting it happen.
It's like my self-esteem is being reduced along with the length of my hair. If I can't handle something easy like getting myself a simple haircut, how could I even handle other things which are much more serious and important than this? Who would trust such a person who couldn't even help herself to handle other stuffs?
I tried to avoid the mirror, but couldn't help being paranoia about it being much more worse. End up checking them again and again, only to feel crappy coz they are worse than what I thought is worse.
The other day, before my hair kena butchered, some guy tried to chat me up. He returned a few days after that, which was a day after the disaster, trying to make some small talk again. I would be glad to play along, except that I was feeling so self-concious about my hair that I couldn't even face him properly. In the end, he left without even so much as asking me "How's business?". And I'll never find out whether he got turned off from the cold-shoulders I'm giving him or the fugly hair.
I still feel like crying when someone ask me "Why you go cut your hair?" and when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Isit even normal to get so affected by something so small like that? If one notice, I didn't even bother trying to make my plight sounds funny anymore. Because I just simply couldn't.
I think this might be the early sign of mild depression.
"I don't know about you, but I've always felt more confident and feminine with long hair."-Jean Goh
2 comments:
I guess there's only one thing I can say now.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Stop going for haircuts for some time.
"And anytime you feel the pain, hey chew, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder."
Ok i don't know why but when i was about to comment, i got Hey Jude singing it my head and here's my lame attempt to fit your name in.
Let your anger go. Yes, hair is very important to you but people don't judge you by your hair. Ok, there are some idiots that do but if they do, then they are not worth your time. You could be bald for all we care but still are the awesome Paddyfoot Chew Kai Xin! You don't need to hide behind a sheet of hair to show them how awesome you are! Yes, it makes you more confident but it is ALL YOU. You are not all hair and you definitely are not Samson so let your courage come back lah. And ya, maybe you should refrain from some haircuts too or at least from returning to the same place?
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