Why am I always the bad one in the family? Why?

Why can't I even joke about things without being judged?

Why can't I be myself anymore?

I don't need you to understand me and whatever I do.

It's fine that you couldn't be there for me all the time when I need you.

It's even fine when you pay more attention to the others than me.

Yes, I am a huge blob of mess sometimes but you didn't even notice didn't you?

Do you know how many times I have loss countless of sleep troubled by things I couldn't share with anyone?

Do you know how many times I think life is meaningless and just want to end it all?

Do you know how many times I continued to act like a fool because that makes you notice me and I feel that I am alive afterall?

Do you even know how sick I am?

No you don't. Maybe you do and you pretend you don't. Because no one else seems to know or care.

But rest assured. I promised myself I shall not succumb to the same abyss anymore. I have stop the self-destructive ways for awhile and I am determined to keep it that way. All by myself.

I am your daughter. That's what I am.