Updates.

It's been rather crazy since I've last updated. Lots of things happened, both good and bad, up and down. Will write about them soon.

Work is coming to an end though. Heavier workload in the last few days, as expected because the employer will sure milk me as much as they can while I'm still around. Wtf.

One more day to go. I shall preserve.

That extra half an inch..

I hate being so tall sometimes.

My newly bought pair of jeans is 2 inches too short...

I think I have decidophobia. Especially when I am presented with choices. Choosing stuffs on my own scares me.

I guess it's because I've always wanted the "best" choice.

Which is why my shopping list are forever pending.

Case 01: The Earphone

My faithful old earphone broke down 3 days ago, while I was running. Lost the audio on one side. Since, I'm a noob when it comes to gadget, I managed to get myself "chopped" by some unscrupulous merchant at Orchard.

Why? I spent $20 on a lousy earphone by TDK or some funny chap-pa-lang brand with horrible audio. Even my old "half-paralysed" on sounded better than it. Cannot tahan so spent $19 on another one, by Sony this time.

Then I happened to walk past HMV. And lo and behold, lots of earphones on sales! Babi. And I found out that stupid TDK is only selling for $10.95 there lo. To say I was furious is an understatement. And the Sony one is priced at $17.95 I think a couple of nearby boys on the playstation actually backed a few steps away from me...

Conclusion- Spent a total of $39 only to get okay-quality earphone. Fail.

Case 02: The Perfect You-Know-What

Listed a few nominees in my head but none were perfect enough. Went through Orchard, City Hall, Raffles Place and then Bugis in one afternoon. Only to finally decide on getting the first nominee which I first found in Orchard. I must be mad.

Conclusion- Spent an entire afternoon to get what could have been gotten in 20 minutes. Fail.

Case 03: The Jeans

Finding the perfect pair of jeans is very tricky. You won't know until you've tried and them . With the limited budget on hand, it's even worse. I spent more than a month hunting for the perfect jeans with a meagre budget. Wth. After countless pairs of denims that I've tried on, I finally got myself a dark blue slim cut pair at $35. Alas, the thing falls 2 inches too short above the ground. Funny how I never noticed it while trying.

Conclusion- 1 month and still got yourself a fashion faux pas?? Shame on you. Damn fail.

Case 04: The Hair

This should be infamous by now. Debated so much with my inner selves (yes, I've more than 1!) whether it should be long or short. Thought I was smart for settling for mid-length instead, the best of both world. Well, life is like opening a box of chocolates right? You never know when someone else will snatch away everything from behind, in a blink of an eye. Hair's gone and hair's short now. Enough said.

Conclusion- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I got fooled more than the fingers on my hands could count.Very the failure.

I've just happened to read this post by xiaxue. And it makes me think, what are the best decisions that I've ever made to change my life for the better? I rack my brain for hours and hours, still, can't think of anything. But when it comes to bad decisions, the list for so overflowing in a few seconds.

I am therefore, officially, decidophobic.

I should've just skip the 3rd haircut.

I got another one again. This time recommendations from Catherine, my supervisor. I dunno what to feel about it now.

All I know is after the haircut I felt light-headed. Everything seems to be spinning. I took a bus from Bukit Batok and somehow ended up at Marsiling.

And before I knew it I was on my way to Bugis. The journey there seems forever. And once I got off the train, my instinct took place. I know instantly what to do.

"Get a beanie, get a beanie, GET A BEANIE!!!!"

And so I did. Along with a pair of sunnies, some earrings, and a pair of sandals.

I'm still not sure what I feel about them. All I know is that when I was in the train I felt like laughing/crying out loud, when I was walking around Bugis without the beanie I felt completely fine, and whenever I slip on the beanie on my hair there is a smile instantly on my face.

As I'm typing this, the beanie's still sitting on my head. I would love it to stay there for at least another 12 months or so. But the trouble is it's itching a little already...

Well, on the plus side, you people don't have to rake your brains on what to get me for Christmas or birthdays. Beanies, caps, fedoras...any cool headgears, I'll love it. Oh, and a wig sounds quite interesting too. =)

The Aftermath..

Edit: Last week's post-binging and PMS is not helping. Swell up at least 2 dress sizes. I look into the mirror. Dark eye bags, droopy face, bulging tummy, bulging butt, and the "crowning glory. Wow, I've never felt uglier before in years. Not even when I was looking like this



End Edit.

It's been 3 days. But the horrible scenes still keep replaying themselves on my head over and over again like those prank stories which are never ending that I used to tell people. What happened, how it happened, and what could've been done/said instead to prevent it from happening.

Call me a drama queen, a pitiable soul, who can't get over a teeny thing like haircut. But I even see it in my dreams, how my hair is perfect, just the way I've initially wanted it to be. Only to wake up and realise that reality is the real nightmare.

The funny thing is as much as I'm angry with the guy who cut my hair, I'm 10 times more furious at myself for letting it happen.

It's like my self-esteem is being reduced along with the length of my hair. If I can't handle something easy like getting myself a simple haircut, how could I even handle other things which are much more serious and important than this? Who would trust such a person who couldn't even help herself to handle other stuffs?

I tried to avoid the mirror, but couldn't help being paranoia about it being much more worse. End up checking them again and again, only to feel crappy coz they are worse than what I thought is worse.

The other day, before my hair kena butchered, some guy tried to chat me up. He returned a few days after that, which was a day after the disaster, trying to make some small talk again. I would be glad to play along, except that I was feeling so self-concious about my hair that I couldn't even face him properly. In the end, he left without even so much as asking me "How's business?". And I'll never find out whether he got turned off from the cold-shoulders I'm giving him or the fugly hair.

I still feel like crying when someone ask me "Why you go cut your hair?" and when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Isit even normal to get so affected by something so small like that? If one notice, I didn't even bother trying to make my plight sounds funny anymore. Because I just simply couldn't.

I think this might be the early sign of mild depression.

"I don't know about you, but I've always felt more confident and feminine with long hair."-Jean Goh

Hair hair hair hair hair...

Edit 2:

"Jambu, why you cut your hair??"

You know normally people will say " You cut your hair? Nice le!" if it's a nice haircut.

Sighing for the nth time today..

End Edit 2.

Edit 1:

" Why you suddenly want to cut your hair short?"

Because some stupid fugger hair-cutter can't follow simple instruction and just need to show off his "latest cutting-technique".

Nah. I couldn't say that.

" He cut wrongly."

End Edit 1.


Do you know that hair grows at a rate of 1cm per month?

If that's so, some wise guy just chop off 10 months worth of hair from my left side and 7 months worth of hair for my right side.

It'll probably take an entire year for it to grow right again.

Options: Wig, extension, add-on hair, fancy headgear....

All cost a bomb and nothing still beats my OWN hair.

Le sigh~~

But then do you also know that hair grows faster when one is happy?

Guess I've to keep my spirits up then. Should be able to do so as long as I keep avoiding the mirrors.....

This is going to be the most emo, violent, incoherent, self-destructive post ever. Do not read and complain about it later. I just have to let this out or else I might just slit my wrist. Get off before it's too late.

I do not know what is wrong anymore. I seriously don't. What the fuck is wrong with this people? What the fuck is wrong with me? No I don't.

I pay you and you should give me the haircut that I want, as per what described/showed to you. Do not lecture me on the newest whatever-hell haircut technique that I am so not interested in, let alone understand. Especially so when the the so-called technique could not even produce the simple result that I've asked for.

I've showed you the length that I've wanted, didn't I? I've told you I want "ping chuang" so many times didn't I? I've even pointed out specifically the pic of the style that I've wanted, didn't I? So why the hell, could someone please enlighten me, that my hair ends up looking like a cross between a toilet bowl and a toadstool?? About 3 inches shorter than I would like it to be?

I am so mad now I could blow up an entire city if I could. Don't tell me it's only hair and hair grows. Because I know it's only hair and hair grows. But hair is like an identity to me, a big part that defines me and give me the confidence that I need. You wouldn't like your identity to be tarnished wouldn't you? Besides, I'm not sure I could live through the next 3 or 4 months with sucky hair.

I do not even know what I am so angry with now anymore. The effing hair-cutters who just can't seem to understand what I want? Myself who just can't even get a simple haircut that I want? The fact that I am so affected that I cried over a simple thing like hair? Or the fact that I've just blew up in front of my family and acted like a complete idiot.

No. I do not know whether I hated the friggin' hair cutters or myself more. Or maybe it's the whole world.

I feel the crazy urge to break everything in sight. And to just shave my head bald for some charity. At least that's cooler that getting a stupid haircut.

Do not even ask me where I got it from, because I might just jump over a cliff after saying it.

Of fish, shrimps, and sai gangs..

I'm grumpy grumpy.


Because I let off a fish yesterday.

"No fish, shrimp also good what."

But why all the shrimp black black wan?? Except for one rather hunky prawn. Too bad it's not interested with the bait.

Another sucky day with endless of sai gang at work.