Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Fishy, oh fishy..

I thought that it is almost time I should be over nemology by now, since i got sidetracked by many other..err..."distractions" along the way.



Distraction 2. So freaking pinchable cheeks!



Distraction 3
. WTH, right? But would you just look at the gorgeous face? And those legs, oh god.. *heaven*

But every time the face or name of the fishy flashed by somewhere on the flat screen, I would get so excited that a squeal or two actually escaped my mouth!. Le sigh~~ This must be the longest crush I've ever had...

Despite you being quite short, quite idiotic, a huge crybaby, clingy, bulliable, gullible, dorky, me not fitting into the description of your ideal type at all, plain weird, pushy, and xiao qi at times, I still can't get over you. Why?



BAM! Oh, that's why. @_@


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone, with love from our dearest Fishy. =)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Another hair-breaking story..

I hate my hair. Stupid aunty. Show picture already still cannot get it right.

"Oh like this in the picture har." *barely glances at the picture* "You want cut layer?" *walks away* "Cut layer lah hor."

Er, it would be nice if you so much so take a look at the picture that I painstakingly find online before deciding for me what to cut. And last time I check, the one paying should have a say on how she wants her hair to be cut, or shaved for any matter. Then again, correct me if I'm somehow outdated.

"It's nicer to have a bit of layer. I cut layer this short ok?" *gestures somewhere middle of the ear and proceeded to cut*

You call that a bit of layer?

"Layer nice ar. Not nice mer? You don't like it ar?"

You think I like it when distaste is written ALL over my head? When I'm shaking my head so furiously?

"Aiyo, If you don't like layer then should say cut straight already. But it's too late to change already now." *chortles to self*

When did I say I wanted layers?? I asked for a trim!

"Straight cut is not in now la. Nowadays people like layer cut . Straight cut not nice la. Unless you like la. People don't like already. Understand?" *shakes head knowingly*

By "nowadays people", which planet do you mean they are from? And yes, I happened to like straight cut, with little layers at most. And please, if you can find one hot celebrity out there with a hair like mine, I'll give you 10 cents. Please google SNSD or Victoria Secret angels, thank you very much.

"Layer is like that de. If you put hair to the back it will look short lo. If you put it to the front it will look longer lo. And of course will qiao d la. Understand or not?" *clucking tongue*

Ohhhhh, could you pwetty pleaseeeeesh explain 1+1=2 to me too? And how many times did I mentioned I don't want my hair to qiao again? Farks..

"How? Don't like ar? You want shampoo your head or not? No? Rinse ok? $17 please."

Wah. Rinse head extra $3? Farks..

"OK, thank you. Have a nice day." *turns to shampoo girl to yakkkk away*

Oh my, how sweet are you to wish me a nice day. But how? I think I will have a gloomy month ahead, if not a few. Farks..

*walks out to the gloomy day*

Monday, September 20, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnvH1iMRAdU

i need a guy..

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Touches a big spot in my heart. http://twitpic.com/2k6fkt

He is like daddy. Angels do exists. =)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It's horrible. What a never ending nightmare. Wake me up soon. This joke is too cruel don't you think?

Give me a place to stay. That's all I'm asking for. Do you really want me to end up sleeping on the streets? What have I done to deserve that?

Give me strength..

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why am I always the bad one in the family? Why?

Why can't I even joke about things without being judged?

Why can't I be myself anymore?

I don't need you to understand me and whatever I do.

It's fine that you couldn't be there for me all the time when I need you.

It's even fine when you pay more attention to the others than me.

Yes, I am a huge blob of mess sometimes but you didn't even notice didn't you?

Do you know how many times I have loss countless of sleep troubled by things I couldn't share with anyone?

Do you know how many times I think life is meaningless and just want to end it all?

Do you know how many times I continued to act like a fool because that makes you notice me and I feel that I am alive afterall?

Do you even know how sick I am?

No you don't. Maybe you do and you pretend you don't. Because no one else seems to know or care.

But rest assured. I promised myself I shall not succumb to the same abyss anymore. I have stop the self-destructive ways for awhile and I am determined to keep it that way. All by myself.

I am your daughter. That's what I am.

The Nomad

Home. A place which gives you comfort and shelter, safe from everything else outside.

Room. Where you rest and relax in your own comfort zone, away from all your troubles.

I had neither here now. You don't know how hard it is to live a nomad life. To keep moving every few weeks and so. Staying over at people's places.

Yes, these people are very kind and offered me a place to stay with I couldn't be more grateful for. But afterall, it is still not my place. I am given a room to stay in now, but I feel shameful to even call it "my room" everytime I refer to it when I talk to other people.

Sept 16 seems so far away. It might be a few days. But it is a torture. No, they did not mistreat me or anything like that. In fact, it was just the opposite. They are more than nice to me.

But it is still depressing, when my own mother personally asked me to go stay with other people, and couldn't care more about it. All she care about is I should never say I want to marry an old rich guy and all that crap, even if it's only for fun.

What?!

I want to run away. Far far away. What difference does it makes? I am all over the place now. Don't come looking for me when I am gone.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

No turning back..

Tried as I may, I couldn't bluff myself anymore that this is what I really want to do. No, construction related stuff is not my thing. It's too late to sigh now though. I envy people who has the courage to turn back and change the course they took when they are already so near the finishing point, just because they didn't want to reach the finishing point at all. No, I can't bluff anymore. How I skived so much during intern and learned nothing at all should have said as much. How just the thought of writing that damned report sends me to a bout of depression needs no further explanation. No, I do not hate writing report in general, just that bloody report- because I have no idea what I have learned so far.

If I can't be happy about my studies now, how can I be happy when I started work later? nothing else matters to me now. How I wish I could just put everything behind me and just run away. Far far away and never stopping, never turning back, never have to face all these again.

But this is not an ideal work. I can't just turn around and run away..

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I'm a horrible writer. Academically anyway. 2000 words of report? How the hell am I suppose to achieve that? I can easily whip up stories or fics more than 2000 words but formal academic writing? Not a chance in the world if my life depended on it. Unless I kop other people's report and use it to my own advantage. Which I am going ot do anyway. Screw reports. Why write long boring reports where no one really cares or want to read? Maybe uni life full of report isn't for me anyways...Screw it. Screw everything!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A rainy day..

I must be crazy. What the heck am I thinking?

Well, to be fair it wasn't like it wasn't unpleasant or anything like that. Far from that, it is nice and comfy and everything. But the awkwardness, gosh, the awkwardness!

And how I am more troublesome than I think. God, let August 27 arrive fast.

And then I can start figuring out where to hide my face after that..

Sunday, August 8, 2010

If I have a boyfriend all even anyone I like now, do you think I would still be so obssessed with this?





Confessions of a closet fangirl: nemology rocks.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Great East Sea

WARNING: This post is strictly for benign Super Junior fans(*i scared malicious fangirls*) or those who are just plain bored and doesn't mind not understanding 70% of the content of this post.


It's been a while since I update. Besides being occupied with internship that I hardly have enough time to go online now, my mind is completely occupied by something (or should I say someone?) else.





Meet my new obessesion



Lee Donghae from Super Junior.

Well, technically I'm still obssessed with the entire Super Junior. But recently this Fishy just somehow managed to charm his way into my heart (Gah! see how he's even making me say all this mushy stuff now??!) even though he's usually not in the main spot light.

And we all know Kyuhyun used to be on top of my list, until I saw videos of Kibum. Then that man-whore Leeteuk seduces me with his dimple. Then I ease my guilt for being such a flutter heart by making a list of top 5. And it went like this:

1. Kibum

2.Kyuhyun

3.Leeteuk

4.Eunhyuk

5.Donghae

Donghae was like somehow there just to round up my list of top 5. I never gave him much thought until recently where it's suddenly

1.Donghae

1.Donghae

1.Donghae

1.Donghae

2. Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, Ryeowook, Kibum

1.Donghae

I've no idea how. Might be the adorable puppy eyes, or the toothy grins, or the cheesy "亲爱的宝贝们" he said whenever he's promoting for SJM, or even this short but hillarious video where he got prank.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWvGR7zpeHE His sleeping form right before he got splashed is just so *angelic*. (melts a little)

Gah! I feel like a squeaky 14-year-old teenage fangirl now! What's wrong with me?!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

No Love

Is is too much to just ask for a little more love?

Is this girl really that unlovable?

Loveless..

Sunday, April 25, 2010

"L" for Loser..

Who are you to judge me?

It's my life and who are you to care if I screw it up? It's not like it's going to affect you in the least bit anyway.

Do I have to do everything properly just so I can measure up to your standard? Give me reasons why should I do that?

I can just throw away everything I have now and just pursue the things I want to do the most if I want to. Without your permission or anything.

I might not be able to wear my emotions on my sleeve all the time but that doesn't mean I'm not feeling anything inside at all. I do envy you for being able to show your emotions so outwardly but you are not me, so you don't know what goes through my head all the time. You might not even be able to guess the kind of things that bothers me all the time for life's sake. Just because you live in a world purer and brighter than me doesn't mean we all do.

Everyone has their own problems so they must have their own reasons for one thing or another. I'd rather be judged based my looks than my character coz you don't know me at all. So don't try to act smart like you know everything.

How do you define losers and winners anyway? I might be a loser, but I'm fine the way I am.

So, get off my back and leave me alone will ya?

"Crazy isn't about being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified..."-Susanna Kaysen in Girl, Interrupted

An online dating site..

Update: Oh great, a click on the "twister" game application brings such rude interventions. It's supposed to be a "game" where they connect you to just any random people, some with webcam, so you can chat face to face with them. An several clicks on the "next" button reveals nothing but dirty weird sh*ts wanking to themselves! Bloody hell!! How am I supposed to study with such horrifying image imprinted into my head now! GAH!!! And I still haven't figure out how to delete my account. -___-""" Now I shall salvage my eyes by going on a eye candy spree. Another excuse not to study..kns...

Studying makes people do a lot of weird things, just so to have an excuse to not study.

For example, signing up on a dating site, and talking to a few dozens of dodgy strangers.

Check it out yourself http://www.badoo.com/

Less than 1 hour there's more than 30 guys who tried to chat me up, all of them dodgier than the previous one. And looking either like a pug, bulldog, or a chihwahwa. No offernce, but I'm really judgemental when it comes to looks. Well, at least they are all honest enough to put up their own picture.

What the hell was I thinking in the first place? Shall go and delete my account now before some weird sh*t jerks off to my picture...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Presence of eye-candy during study session is a mood-uplifter.

Took a pic of cute guy-J and shall upload it later when it got transferred. ;)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Today, tonight..

Finally getting some studying done today. However, when i'm back in my room, i'm back to happily clicking away on FB again..-_-""

I realise it's been a while since i wrote a quirky and interesting post. This blog has become a place where i just siphon all my disturbing thoughts away. Sometimes i typed so fast i don't even know what i'm trying to say. All i know that it's all in my head and i just NEED to get it out. Fast.

Someone once told me she doesn't dare to read my blog because it's full of emo stuffs. You think that's scary eh? Try having those disturbing and confusing stuff bogging down your mind, all at once. Scary, eh?

Yes, that's how much of a disturbed human being i am. In fact, they should just make an autobiography of "Disturbia" or "Girl, Interrupted" out of me. Might win an Oscar or two somemore. Awesome...

Anyway, the point is, it's not always easy to please everyone, including oneself. I remember Kenny Sia stated recently that he first started out his blog as a hobby but over time, the expectation from people on him to keep coming up with funny posts is just to much to handle.

Will make a funny post if i ever have the inspiration again..

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Invisibility

Is totally used to being over-looked and insignificant to others. Would have been perfect if she would just fade away or evaporate just like that.

However, any sudden span of attention on her is totally shocking and surprising. No idea how to react.

Perhaps, it would be nice to be invisible sometimes..
There's so much I want to do now, despite study should be on the top of my priority list.

I want to cook. Tteokbokki, pajeon, dak galbi, apple crumble/cobbler, banana walnut cake.

I want to learn new piano pieces. The name of life (Spirited Away OST), Yiruma's pieces.

I want to run. I want to dance. I want to drink. I want to shop. I want to go to the beach. I want to spend time with my mum. Yada yada yada...

Anything except dealing with this whole contract mess in front of me now. But what to do? I made a vow in front of the Dearly Departed-s I'll work hard to make it through. Nowhere near hard though. How?

Sometimes, I think my life is jinxed because I made too many empty promises.

Random: Regretted not giving her all in piano last time. Could only sigh in envy listening to all the beautiful pieces she could have played if only she was more serious.


I want nothing more than to be cooking and baking and playing my piano right now...

Tumbling down, KABOOM!

Took a fall on the pavement today while jogging. Was relieved and counted myself lucky for not sustaining any injury.

Took a tumbling fall in the library when my leg got caught up with one of the many stray laptop cables lying on the floor. Scraped myself on the knee but i think my pride hurt more. Half of the study room people are staring at me; whispering and grinning among themselves.

The wound kinda sting a bit now. Which made me realise, how fragile I actually am. A slight little fall like that injures me. And a slight little injury like that hurts.

Big-sized people like me should never fall. The risk of getting injured is too high. And it hurts. And i'm talking about both literally and metaphorically.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Actually, she knows the answer to the most frequently asked question of all time all along.

It's because she can't love or care for anyone else. Including herself.

There. Mystery solved. Now, you people can stop asking her the same question over and over again. Because it hurts to know the answer to this.
Can't stop posting because I think I'll explode if I do.

Hates how all her thoughts are centered around herself right now.
Convince me why this life is worth living. Don't bother asking me to change this or that. If I could it would have happened long time ago.

And you know what's the most pitiful thing?

Suicide is not an option because it doesn't solve anything at all.

It's amazing how the world can be so lovely one moment but absolutely horrible the next..

*feels extremely sorry to her loved ones when typing this post*

Can I just give up trying?

A new idol-drama

If my life is like an idol-drama, then my character will be similar to one of those female leads.

You know, those who are not smart, pretty or rich but have the priceless attributes of being hard-working, never give-up attitude, cheerful, loyal, and most importantly, a kind heart.

Those who will manage to trive off and won everyone's heart in the end with their pureness.

Those who will meet their rich and handsome Prince Charming, usually more than one, before marrying the right one and live a happily ever after life.



Not.

Who am I kidding?

I'm probably more similar to the hermit in the mountain than anything else. Ignorant, slacker, rude and just plain don't-care. Whom everyone else would rather not have anything to associate with her if they could ever help it.Top that up with extreme lousy luck. There. Sounds like an interesting figure for an unconventional idol-drama right? Would you watch?

FML. Yes, can i use the F word?

FML FML.....

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fool. I wasn't fooled. Hmm.. I love the feeling of after running/working out. Problem is I will be too wide awake to sleep later. Oh wells, I can always work on my piling high workload till I feel sleepy. Is excited that Snuffie is back in town. Can't wait to meet her up. =)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Lost focus...

Just feel like I have to write something.

I can't focused. The test is tomorrow but I've barely skimmed through a few chapters.

I can't stop looking at old pictures. Can't stop checking the new notifications on Facebook.

FB feels like my only connection to the outside world now. All other means of communications are cut short.

I guess the unfocused/ unmotivated feeling all constitued by one cause- loneliness.

I get so bored and insecure I really can't focus. Desperate for any form of communications, I'll disturb anyone on msn that seems available, only to end up with nothing to talk about. Same thing when mum calls.

The Big Sis is getting married soon. So, obviously she's sweet on her future husband now- they both are. We no longer spend time talking to each other on msn, no longer meet up on weekends for shopping trips now. Everytime I see her, the future brother-in-law will be there. Not that I'm not happy for both of them-in fact I couldn't be happier she found someone so nice who gets along well with our family too- but I really misses the time when only we sisters spent together doing things...

The Baby Sis is working now. Busy till night everyday. Obviously, no chance to talk to her for a long time. I miss messing and fooling around with her. Miss bullying her to the max, and laughing at her annoyed face. Miss all the gibberish we speak to each other and yet, understand each other perfectly.

At least, in Korea, I could just go over to room 414 anytime in the middle of the night when I'm feeling lonely. Even though the occupants there might not layan me so much sometimes, at least I won't feel so alone, for I know we've got only each other in a foreign land.

Coming back to sg just makes everything more surreal. I'm losing touch with the reality world everyday. It feels like a big part of me is evaporating slowly everyday as I waste time like this away day by day.

I haven't figured out what I want to do in the future. The stagnant position that I am in now makes me very uneasy. What should I do?

I realise I'm beginning to lose the flair to talk to people. Normal conversation, chit chats. I couldn't keep the flow going and didn't know what else to say anymore. It's scaring me. Soon, I'll just become a mute with a voice if this continues on.

"I'm just a little girl lost in the moment, I'm so scared but I don't show it." -The Show, Lenka

Friday, March 26, 2010

A picture speaks a thousand words..

The old primary school photos that Hazwanee uploaded on facebook are causing a lot of commotions. It is just so funny and amusing to see ourselves more than 10 years back. People do change overtime. But, surprisingly, I could still recognise and remember most of them. Even those who I've never heard from after primary school. Scenes from those (not so) innocent days just started to play around my head. The days where we had choir practices during music lessons for the performance. Days where I would fool around with Suz, Ah Lee, and I can't remember who elses during practice. The day where we all scrunched up our noses n sulked because of the bling bling ala getai skirt that we got, along with the polka dot hair band (gigantic head bow in my case) that we have to wear on our head. Those days were funny. The yellowing of the picture just made those memories even more nolstalgic.

Then there was the standard 6 picture. To be honest, t'was a hard year for me. More unpleasant memories than happy ones then. I was a rebel at school. Well, as much of one you can get in a top class. Anyways, I would slack off my homework, not handing them up for months, got out of group projects because no one would take me in their groups, lie through my way to save my own ass when the teachers confront me for all my misbehaviours, and a lot more which I am even ashamed to mentioned here. The girls would shy away from me no matter how hard I try to fit in. Perhaps because I stood out like a sore thumb physically, or perhaps because I wasn't completely honest with them on a lot of things because I just couldn't. For example, they would be questioning why I still could receive the book loan scheme from school when I am staying in this huge-ass house. I would try to explain my circumstances but it was so hard for a 12-year-old to make her peers understand without revealing so much. In the end, they just call me a liar.. I guess that's one of the reasons I started to be a black sheep amongst them.

Speaking of the book loan scheme, that's another part of school which I hated so much. It was just downright difficult to explain to the teachers why I would need the scheme. Mind you, I was only 10 then. And I had to go through the sickening experience every year thereafter. What about my mother you ask? You see, my mum would reason that I could speak malay way better than her so I should explain it to the teachers instead (Her command of malay/english is quite poor). Besides, she was way too busy to take care of that, having to shuffle between hospitals and hospitals to take care of my dad. And the 10-year-old me would be bug down with the stress to earn myself that loan scheme. God knows what consequences await if I fail. Mum did her part though, even going as far as to get the MCA delegate/ some other politician to certify a declaration letter explaining our situation to the school. I still remember, the first time I tried explaning to Mrs. Nathan, our class teacher then, I cried in front of the whole class because I was at the end of my wits on how to get the teacher to understand. She asked me so much questions in front of everyone else that I felt it's more like an integoration. It didn't help that I was blacklisted by her for not submitting my homework on time or something. It was such an embarrassing episode that I vowed on that day afterwards to never ever cry again in front of other people. Especially when it comes to explaining the "circumstances".

I guess that's why I learn to grew up the tough way. I would defense myself against others by being harsh with my words. I would be very careful to not reveal any sign of weakness to others as well. I would built up a wall around my heart and always put up a tough exterior. And somewhere along the way, I had pick up the Craft of Cunningness which just end the innocent years of the pre-pubescent me.

Thank god, I have learned to cry again. Because tears are just words that can't be spoken from the heart.

Why am I rambling away now? All these just because of a couple of old photos that have surfaced on facebook..

As far as I know, I don't want to go back to those years ever again.

I should go and sleep now.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"Kai Xin, what kind of guys you like?"

"Kai Xin, you got anyone after you now?"

"Kai Xin, you got anyone you like?"

"Har... Why are you still single??????"

Beats me. It's officially a mystery now.
Oh, he's attached? Well, at least he's not gay..

Monday, March 22, 2010

As cute as a puppy. A bit pretty like my favourite Korean pretty boy. It explains everything.

Too bad there's no connection at all between us. Oh wells, settling for being an eye-candy isn't that bad too. =)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

There's a new infatuation. And it brought along a strange dream.

And there are a lot of stresses. And it brought along anxiety.

If only we can runaway to Lala-Land forever. OK, maybe not. But long enough to evade the problem.

What would you do when the road in front is block by so many obstacles and yet your goal is just so near? Would you ram head first into the obstacles and brave through it or would you make a U-turn and try to find another exit out?

I am still merely sitting in front of the obstacles and pondering, not making any progress.

A tortured soul...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

너무 힘들어 요...

It makes me wonders every night. I don't even know anything anymore. It's a blank blank mind in there.
Dear Abandoned-Blog,

I'm in pain. And it's self-inflicted. I need to stop this. But I do not know how, as hard as I try.

Yours sincerely,
Your writer

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

out of control. is scares. help..

Sunday, February 21, 2010

It's tiring and it's frustrating. The difference between ideal and reality.

Everything's blurring into a mash of marred grey. I can't see clearly anymore.

My eyes hurt. My ears hurt. My throat hurts.

I don't know where I am now. Except that I know clearly where I really am.

See? That's the confusion I'm talking about.

It's ironic how my voice doesn't blend in with others when we sing together. The me who received vocal trainings for years in choir singing.

My lappie decided to work again and I'm thankful for that. But I'm still very behind in my works. Will slog out overnight tonight to finish everything. Felt incredibly sorry to my groupmates. It just isn't fair for them who work so hard over the holidays and hand up their parts on time while I've only handed in a crappy draft so far.

It feels like deja vu all over again.

Don't wake me up....

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A person's personality is influenced by his/her upbringing.

I grew up awkward, sticking out like a sore thumb, being taunted and teased, being stepped and surrounded by malicious intentions. Despite the love and comfort that my parents try so hard to provide me with.

What kind of personality would I have?

Definitely not a pleasant submissive one everyone would love.

Pardon me for being such an obnoxious being....

Lone souls..

It pains my heart to know that she's crying all alone at home. And that her cries are unheard of.

It hurts to be alone. Of course I know. Nothing hurts more to have your love ones around but still filled with loneliness. It's scary to be alone.

Why can't two lonely people who love each other be together and live their lives happily?

Why do we ridiculously torture ourselves with separations? You'll probably say "aiya, it's the norm of life lah." But why do we deal with such nonsensical "norm" of life and suffer like this?

I want to be with you. Right here, right now.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Melancholy

I have more things than others.

I am more fortunate than others.

I am more loved and blessed than others.

I seem to have everything.

But why am I still feeling so empty?

So ungrounded and insecure...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

sudden melancholly..

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Is feeling all alone again..

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I miss Korea. Moving back to hall is a mistake. God save me.
Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Love me LOVE ME!!

FML
Love me, talk to me.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

New year resolutions

Meet up with the girls today. And yesterday. Nostalgia~~

I am surrounded by people. But why do I still feel lonely?

New Year Resolution. Which I hope will keep at least 50%...

1. Study hard and finally hit 4.0 in my CAP score.

2. Cut down on my Youtube addiction.

3. Run/swim/ exercise at least 3 times a week. And finally have a body fit enough to fit into a bikini.

4.Be nicer to people. Genuinely.

5. Call on mum more often.

6. Keep my temper in check. Keep my enthusiasm in check. Keep my emotions in check.

7. Have positive outlook on things.

8. Stop "koping" other people's food. With or without permission...

9.Be more honest about my true feelings. Especially when it comes to the four letter word which starts with L.

10. Try out more new things. Start with volunteer work.

Alright. I'll start with this 10. That's quite of a Herculean task to keep already. How many do you think I will succeed in? Let's have a bet...

The volunteer group...

Been keeping in touch with the Koreans. Hj, Sg, Sw, and Jky.

They all say they missed me. They all said they talked about me in their meetings.

Seems kinda faraway and surreal. I'm still caught between the wonderful fantasy land of SEP in Korea and the reality of being back in Singapore/Malaysia.

They all said Sh really wants to come to Sg to meet me. But I've only seen him once! And seriously not my cup of tea. Scary~~

When will they realise it's Sw who caught my attention?
Enjoying the solitude of being home alone. And not so enjoying it now.

Feeling sleepy and really wanna got to sleep. And not really feeling want to sleep.

Feeling hungry and eat some stuff. And not really feeling hungry at all afterall.

Thinking I should keep my hair long and pray that it grows fast everyday. And kinda wishing it stays short.

Dilemma dilemma dilemma... What's wrong with me? Split personality?

I talk to myself. Funny?