Sunday, February 21, 2010

It's tiring and it's frustrating. The difference between ideal and reality.

Everything's blurring into a mash of marred grey. I can't see clearly anymore.

My eyes hurt. My ears hurt. My throat hurts.

I don't know where I am now. Except that I know clearly where I really am.

See? That's the confusion I'm talking about.

It's ironic how my voice doesn't blend in with others when we sing together. The me who received vocal trainings for years in choir singing.

My lappie decided to work again and I'm thankful for that. But I'm still very behind in my works. Will slog out overnight tonight to finish everything. Felt incredibly sorry to my groupmates. It just isn't fair for them who work so hard over the holidays and hand up their parts on time while I've only handed in a crappy draft so far.

It feels like deja vu all over again.

Don't wake me up....

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A person's personality is influenced by his/her upbringing.

I grew up awkward, sticking out like a sore thumb, being taunted and teased, being stepped and surrounded by malicious intentions. Despite the love and comfort that my parents try so hard to provide me with.

What kind of personality would I have?

Definitely not a pleasant submissive one everyone would love.

Pardon me for being such an obnoxious being....

Lone souls..

It pains my heart to know that she's crying all alone at home. And that her cries are unheard of.

It hurts to be alone. Of course I know. Nothing hurts more to have your love ones around but still filled with loneliness. It's scary to be alone.

Why can't two lonely people who love each other be together and live their lives happily?

Why do we ridiculously torture ourselves with separations? You'll probably say "aiya, it's the norm of life lah." But why do we deal with such nonsensical "norm" of life and suffer like this?

I want to be with you. Right here, right now.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Melancholy

I have more things than others.

I am more fortunate than others.

I am more loved and blessed than others.

I seem to have everything.

But why am I still feeling so empty?

So ungrounded and insecure...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

sudden melancholly..