RRAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Why is luck always not on my side???? Why is always all these lame stuffs always ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME??! FML!!! I officially hate booking air tickets.. Blooody.

I was happily going out alone today.. Ok, not happily but at least i try to not lament at my own pity lonely self and tried to have fun, even i was alone. Eat alone, walked alone, compensated with awarding myself 2 cups of fat-filled gong cha to stop the self-pity. Was happy, really quite happy even as I got lost walking a few times around the city. A little imagination and the gong cha's in hand got my spirit up...

Finally came to a decision to book the flights tonight, after procrastinating for so long. Because i was considering the budget, date and everything. Nearly cracked my skull in two deciding whether i should book. And when i finally, finally confirmed the booking, YOU JUST HAVE TO RUIN IT DON'T YOU??? LIKE FREAKING 5 MINUTES RIGHT AFTER IT!!! FML FML FML FML FMLTTM!!!!!!!!

Screw everything. Screw it. I'm sick and tired of this shit. FUCK! ARRRRGGGHHH!!!! Leave my brain alone!!! I'm going to destroy something! RAHHHHHHH!!!!! I HATE MAKING DECISION. DON'T MAKE ME DECIDE!!!!!!!!!

go on. i'm being mean to u. hate me with all ur might. i'm not as nice as u think. u mess with the wrong person. although it's nice to have the honour. but it's time u realise who i really am.

i think everything kinda exploded. i'm so sorry. it went out of control. it's my fault. me myself all along. i'm foolish to deceive myself. let's put it to an end. i'm so sorry. i fell for u first. u had any idea how hard it is to type out the previous sentence?

happiness is a state of mind. as long as i accept i could be doomed to singlehood forever, i'll be able to live happily. i will no longer harbour any hopes. i can't believe it has become like this. i wish you would never find out. and continue to live happily ever after..

Do you really not know your own charms? Your friend is right when she said she could have fell for you if you continued... I know because, so do I. You might be playing alright. But it's dangerous. And it could burn bridges. Next time, pick on other targets. Because lonely souls are too easy to be played....

Why do i feel this way...

It's hard to not feel the pain. I feel it every once in a while, every so often, every time it hurts more than the previous one. It was masked with a smile, forgotten momentarily with a happy event, only to be stirred to the surface again when I'm left all alone.

You might ask me why do I feel this way? For that, I have no answer for you. It is just there, you see? Some things never changes.

i think...

would you believe me if i say i really might have fallen for you?