The Middle-child Syndrome.

It is strange, that although I seem to be very close to my mum and sis's, we don't contact each other that often.

I seldom call home, and seldom receive calls from home.

This is the record eversince I came to Korea:

called home -1
calls from home -0
video calls - 1
msn with yue - 2
msn with kling -3
msn with bro - 1
msn with kling's bf - 2
exchanged emails with yue - 2

All these sessions are very short. And I actually talked more to the sis's bf than my own blood-related brother.

Mum says that she misses me the other time I called back. Well, why no contact then?

The only thing I can do is upload as many pictures as I can on Facebook and hope they will somehow take a look at it and knows what I've been up to.

My friends here all noted how independent I appeared to be and is usually the one helping them out- hence, earning me the "Ommo-nim" nickname from them.

What they didn't know is I have to do stuffs like that on my own because I do not know how to ask for help. Just like the other time. They're puzzled why I never shouted or asked for help from any of the guys(friends) when I got harrased to no end by those "chi ko peks" in the jimjilbang. Instead, I saved my own ass from getting molested by getting out of the way, and letting the "chi ko peks" got away with it easy.

This is because I've been brought up like this all my life.

"Any problem? Deal with it yourself."
" Sick? Don't tell me coz you asked for it."
" Tired? I'm even more tired than you are."
" Kena bully/molested? Stupid ar you."
" Dunno how? You are bigger in size and more educated than me. Go figure it out yourself."
" DON'T ALWAYS RELY ON ME!"

So, here's a confession from me. My ultimate weakness is I do not know how to ask for help.

Is this a middle-child syndrome?

Kinda wish I wasn't born such a big girl...