Counting down...

To 2nd dec.

The day where i finish my exam. The day where i finish this lousy semester. And most importantly the day i'm starting anew from scratch.

21 years and more. That's how long i've been living and that's how long i've been regretting it. Enough is enough. I know i've been rambling about how life sucks and i can't wait to die. But apparently The One up there has other plans and decides otherwise. Since that's the case, i shall live everyday fully with no regrets till the day i die, even if it's tomorrow.

In the past i've been living safely- in other words, BORING. I ended up regretting all the things i could've done but did not. Just simply because i was scared of the uncertainties that lie ahead. And also to try to fit in with everybody.

Now i shall rather regret what i've done than what i've not done.

On top of my to-do list is to look HOT..haha. Life is short. Youth is even shorter. If i don't work for the hotness now it'll just get even harder with time. God might've not bequeathed me with great genes but that's not going to stop me. With all the technologies available now, i shall get a nose job if i ever did feel like getting one. xp.

This might seem shallow to most people. Of course they'll argue that looks is not everything. But i believe that looks makes up a big portion of someone. Everyone wants to look good. My belated ahmah said this once " 不爱美不是人"(which literally means every human wants to look good). I was still too young to really comprehend the meaning then. Now i think this is the wisest thing my ahmah has ever said because looks might not be everything but it certainly can make or break someone, especially one's confidence. That doesn't mean that ugly people should go dig themselves a hole and live in it. The key is to BELIEVE yourself, that you are indeed beautiful. So, it's ok to be all hairy, fat, greasy hair, pimply big moles, crooked nose, 3 eyes, 4 mouths and whatever else, as long as you are hapy and comfortable with it. In my case, it just takes a little more to convince myself that. hehe. Besides, what's wrong with being more pleasant on the eyes for others?? People love to see beautiful things don't they??

Next on, i shall not run away from any problems ever again. I tend to avoid problems especially when the stress pile up high. No more excuses for not doing something. I shall take every challenge that comes my way and wrestle it down to the ground. Be it solving the economy recession or cleaning that super dusty blind in my room..Oh, no more blaming anything i can think of when something goes wrong too.

I shall also stop acting dumb-or smart sometimes-in front of people. I shall not say things i do not mean just to please others. I shall stop living my life trying to please everyone. Trust me, you'll only end up being the most displeased one; no matter how much you do, people just don't apreciate that much. I don't know whether you all still know this but remember the "what i want to be in my next life" post i wrote in Friendster's blog last time? The one that wynken so happily "copied" it? Well, it just strikes me why wait till next life? I shall start now. At least the part where i look gorgeous and say no to people. For the filthy rich part, rest assured i'll make it my life-long mission to marry a damn rich husband and be spoiled by him. =)

There are still a lot more i want to do. The most important thing i learn is to stop whining and waiting the sky to rain gold coins instead whenever something goes wrong. Oppoturnities don't come banging on your door. They'll only barely smirk at your dirty doormat as they whizzed pass, if they ever do passby. Thus, it's up to us to chase it (or hunt if it decides your doormat isn't even worth smirking at) down to grab it and wipe that annoying smirk off it's face. Take that you s**ker!!

You are not obliged to read everything i've wrote so far. But in case you do, you'll probably be wondering why the sudden optimism after all the "just_let_me_die_already_posts". Well, i went running today and that clears my head. I realised i don't want to just die getting run down by the shuttle bus (refer to previous post) yet. Certainly don't want to die not ever trying the bungee jump, all the delicious food all over the world, bla bla bla.. and certainly not still a virgin..That'll be damn sad lar. Imagine my tombstone displaying

"Born a virgin.
Live a virgin.
Die a virgin."

The spirits at the other side would probably make fun of me everyday and my after-life will be even sadder than the one here. This is how i imagined them to talk among themselves. Two typical male Malaysians' spirits. Hence, the Manglish.

Spirit A: Eh, see the newcomer? Not bad le. Quite sui.

Ghost B: But hor, i heard she's still a virgin le. It's not like she's still underage or what lo. Adult already le. She's probably never even had an ah boi before. You think what's wrong with her ar?

Spirit A: Har? Like that ar. Maybe she has AIDS le? Or she'll eat her mate like praying cockroach. Mantis? What's that? Aiya, see how fast she eat the joss-sticks. So scary. It's possible lo!

Ghost B: Eee..I don't want friend her already la. Since you say she sui, you go xian her la. Don't say i never give you chance ar, brudder.

Spirit A: You very pandai hor. Don't want already only give me. Act generous somemore. KNS. Go die lar.

Ghost B: I already did what.

Spirit A: Yahor. hehe.paiseh ar.

Me: (listening to everything they said coz they were practically shouting at each other) -__-""

Bloody hell. Cannot be the guys here blind mer?
And for the record, i'm not in a hurry to lose it. Just that it'll really be a waste to die without even experiencing love once.


Amazing what a simple run can do to one's head right?

This post shall serve as a reminder to me if i ever lost my determination along the way. Thanks to everyone who cared so far. May you all get to eat good food everyday.=D